Lima, Peru

Lima, oh Lima.

The capital perhaps but to most, at most, an airport, one night’s stay and a place to pass through on the way to better things.

Not I though. Determined to see another side to this much maligned city I intended to spend a few days seeing the sights yes but also traipsing the back streets, seeking the edge and caressing the seething underbelly.

Deciding to stay in Barranco as opposed to the perennially more popular Miraflores I paid heed to the advice of the PS Guide to South America from which I expect royalties, or at least a passing mention, upon publication.

First impressions seemed positive too - a rare break in the fog - the so called donkey’s breath that encases the city in a damp grey slime for 8 months of the year meant I awoke to sunshine. Time to explore.

Stepping over the drunk who had fallen out of bed (or never quite made it into bed), tracing a wide arc around the rather pungent young man of undetermined origin and dodging in-between the dole queue types waiting for breakfast I emerged from my hostel/flophouse not 50m from Lima’s coast and began my wandering...

All sounds quite promising doesn’t it? Well no, not even close. I wanted to like Lima, I wanted to see the side that others don’t, I really did but I didn’t.

As the fog rolled in things slowly fell apart and thus I have compiled a top 5 mustn’t do’s for anyone visiting Lima:

1 - Spend time in Miraflores. Too busy, too noisy. I have to agree the quiet streets and aging architecture of Barranco are infinitely preferable.

2 - Eat at a restaurant in Barranco on the main square recommended by the Lonely Planet (I should have known better). I won’t go into details but you can keep your Atkins, leave the GI book on the shelf for losing weight has never been so rapid.

3 - Expect to see the sun for more than half a day. Even hoping for half a day displays a misplaced optimism.

4 - Take a taxi at rush hour. The first corner in a grand prix is an orderly procession by comparison.

5 - Go into a rather lovely boutique in Barranco and by one item of clothing you love and one you despise. 1 in 2 just isn’t acceptable on a travelling budget.

Ok, so perhaps I am being a little harsh. I didn’t get to truly experience the cuisine for which Lima is famous (by virtue of the fact of experiencing the type of cuisine for Lima isn’t famous) and no I didn’t sojourn in the evenings to sample the nocturnal delights of the city but honestly, looking back, this doesn’t phase me too greatly.

Earlier than expected time to say a less than fond farewell to Lima and head once more, 5 years after the first time, to Huaraz.