Anjuna, India

F*ck. India. F*ck. You know. Yeah. F*ck. India man. Totally.

I can't believe it - you know, I thought I got here the other day and it turns out it was over 7 years ago.  7 YEARS?! You know, 7 years man, wow.

This place does that to you though man - you know?  I remember rocking up here, I was just a confused kid. Part of the rat race, a nine 'til fiver, one of the many.  Rushing headfirst into the grave via 2.4 kids and a mortgage - proper scary stuff.  Not anymore though, not for me.  I'm changed, one of the few.  One of the lucky ones who stepped off the merry-go round.

I still remember the moment it clicked.  Like it was totally yesterday, clear as the beauty of this life is to me now.  I was sat on the beach one night all stressed out and as I lay back to look up at the skies it hit me man - you know?  That moment, that feeling.  I was a star, one of an infinite number, nothing but yet something, nothing but yet everything - you know?  Real deep stuff.  I ran back to my room and threw out everything I owned (except the stuff I might need).  That was such a turning point, casting off the shackles of my previous life in one fell swoop.  I felt so powerful, so pure - you know?

The time I have spent here will stay with me forever man - you know - so many memories.  I remember one night just lying in bed reading - I was being eaten alive by bed bugs but with each new bite I smiled.  I am part of this world and so are they. 

"Come eat my flesh" I said, "Let it nourish you, it is your flesh now". 

Never has the circle of life been so clear to me.  In the same room I had another experience that still makes me stop and go wow - you know? A rat fell through my ceiling at 4am in the morning - I awoke and said aloud:

"Hello Mr Rat.  Have you come to tell me stories of your world?"

I got out of bed, lay on the floor and looked into his eyes, deep into his eyes - you know? So deep - into his soul.  We communed man, me and that rat.  We didn't need words - it was deeper than that. He told me of his struggles, the need to feed his ever growing family, he told me of life without a home, moving constantly to find food and shelter.  I said I understood because I did.  I cried because I felt his pain.  I think in that moment I was closer to that rat than I ever have been to a human.

It is so peaceful here and so pure.  Humanity distilled you know? F*ck that's deep.  One day about 6 years ago I headed down to the beach, sat down and started making circles in the sand with my hands.  Just two circles in the sand - you know. No reason, just because.  It was the most pure thing I have ever done.  So simple.  Without realising it I became part of the universe; my arms making the circles, my heart beating, my breathing, the ebb and flow of the ocean all were in tune, all were one - you know?  Time became irrelevant as I made the circles, the beauty of the moment, the eternal symbolism took me ever deeper into the purest meditative state.  I wanted not for food, longed not for water.  As my hands began to bleed I cared not.  The moment was all consuming, I knew never again would I connect so completely with the world.  The circles I drew never ended never began.  My hands became numb but my soul came alive; it overflowed with the beauty of life.  The day I stopped I just sat there and looked at the world completely anew.  Everything was in sharp focus, the colours intensified, the sounds heightened-  my senses screamed as I struggled to comprehend all before me.  It was such a natural high - you know? Something in the universe spoke to me that day.  When I sat down it was 2004 when I stood up it was 2010.  6 YEARS MAN, 6 YEARS.  Wow.  I still get goosebumps.  The feeling hasn't yet returned to my left hand and I had to have three fingers on my right hand amputated due to infections but I care not for such trivialities for the memory of that moment conquers all.    

I have also met some people here that I have really connected.  People who you have known for a lifetime after only a minute - you know?   People you would do anything for - true bonds.  Luke is a  friend I will know until my dying day I have no doubts.  Pure of mind, body and soul he is a beacon of clarity in a sometimes blurry world.

Luke's dad was one of the first guys to head to Goa in the 60's. That's so cool to me.  A real founding father.  Someone who totally had to travel by train and bus - completely overland - to get here.  The difficulties of the journey paling against the promise, blanked by the siren call of the destination. Man those sound like good times.  Luke told me that although his dad set-up a multi-million dollar software company he still wears a bracelet of beads he made himself in Goa back in the day to keep him true to his roots.  That's spirit man, real soul.  He says the beads help keep the 'man' at bay and make him remember you don't need money to be happy..  I so respect that.  I can see Luke is definitely his father's son - he's so full on about being chilled out - you know? He is so dedicated to this life, to finding purity.  Although he has the money his dad has given him he refuses to touch it in case it taints the dream.  He says having nothing makes you closer to being something.  I think that's f*cking poetry man..  He totally lives by what he says.  He hasn't touched the trust fund in over a year and only lives off the interest.

F*ck man.  I need to get off this computer.  I can feel my soul being drained.  When you next see me don't call me Glenn, call me friend.